Legend of Hogwarts (Harry Potter x League of Legends)

As Professor Sigma finished his self-introduction, the entire classroom erupted with applause. Nearly every young wizard clapped as hard as they could. In their eyes, Professor Sigma was the epitome of an ideal teacher, his words and actions were nothing short of inspirational, a model wizard if there ever was one.

Except for Allen.

At that moment, a song lyric popped into Allen’s mind: ”I’ll just quietly watch you show off and never interrupt you...”

That righteous and impassioned speech of Sigma’s just now could easily rank as a top-tier monologue even in Naruto. But Allen had no intention of falling for it.

What kind of virtuous, well-rounded professor throws poop at students on the first day of class?

If you really wanted to live up to the title of ”noble and virtuous,” you’d throw seeds, not... that.

Still, Allen had no desire to steal Sigma’s spotlight. Faced with someone who could hurl such filth without hesitation the moment they met, Allen knew better than to pick a fight. The guy had unpredictable strength and held the moral high ground as a professor, Allen couldn’t win that battle.

Besides, he was genuinely curious about what kind of surprises this oddball of a professor might bring to the first-years. He was perfectly content to sit back, snacks in hand, and enjoy the show. After all, ruining the director’s plan is the true sin.

Things took a fascinating turn. After just one day of Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Sigma had already managed to rebuild his reputation before dinner. His new persona convinced the other professors that they’d misjudged him, he was, in fact, a remarkably capable educator.

Allen just smiled quietly, choosing not to comment, and resumed his exploration of the secret passages for the second week.

Thanks to Valor, the raven he treated as a pet, Allen’s efforts didn’t go to waste. Secret passages are called that for a reason, they’re hidden. Without solid information, Allen’s limited magical knowledge made it nearly impossible to find them on his own.

Fortunately, the passage Valor discovered was one Allen already had a clue about: the tunnel from the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack.

After confirming the existence of that hazardous passage, Allen spent the last bit of his weekend in the library, cramming desperately to make up for his lacking knowledge of magic. Lucky for him, the terrifying Sigma wasn’t looming over anyone’s shoulder this time, so the library was nearly deserted.

When the new week began, everything reverted to the way it was when Allen first arrived at school. Even the adjusted class schedules returned to normal. Professor McGonagall was once again watching over students transfiguring beans into buttons with her stern, sharp gaze.

But all of that changed during lunch, just as Allen had predicted.

Sigma did want his students to learn skills. But that didn’t stop him from teaching in the most diabolical way possible.

On Monday morning, it was the third-years’ turn for Defense Against the Dark Arts. During the previous lesson, Sigma had spent the entire class teaching them a highly practical defensive spell, the Shielding Charm (Protego).

It’s an extremely useful spell that can block most attacks, and perfectly appropriate for third-years.

But, true to form, Sigma found a way to spice things up.

When the third-years, looking rather wary, entered the classroom, Sigma greeted them with a cheerful announcement: his special props had finally arrived, so they wouldn’t be doing boring chant-and-practice drills anymore.

This meant they’d be having a practical class, finally, a chance to use their wands. The students were thrilled.

But their excitement didn’t last long.

To avoid ”accidental injuries,” Sigma told them they’d be facing special attackers.

To be precise, these attackers weren’t even alive.

With a bit of magical engineering, Sigma transformed two adjacent classrooms into a rotating labyrinth corridor. The students’ objective was to navigate through it while using the Shielding Charm to block incoming attacks.

Anyone who reached the end without being hit would win thirty points for their house, the maximum any professor could award in a single week for a class of the same year.

That prize had everyone fired up.

But... no one made it to the end.

In fact, not a single student even made it halfway through.

Why?

Because the only obstacles in the maze were cans of surströmming, fermented herring, one of the smelliest foods in the world.

These sealed cans, heated by magical fire of constantly shifting intensity and temperature, essentially turned into ticking stink bombs. Triggered by the students’ movements, the magic fires would flare up in unpredictable ways.

And as everyone knows, heating pressurized cans like that leads to a predictable outcome: explosions.

Let’s not forget, the smell of surströmming when heated is often compared to microwaving durian pits. It’s horrific.

Each can become an unstable, foul-smelling time bomb.

To make matters worse, because Sigma’s reputation had improved over the weekend, very few students had gone to the library to review their spells.

And if a student failed to cast Protego three times in the maze, they were automatically ejected.

You can imagine the trauma.

Allen later heard that two Hufflepuffs had broken down crying.

Gryffindor and Hufflepuff’s disasters made Slytherin and Ravenclaw extremely anxious.

Too bad the Weasley twins hadn’t yet invented their famous ”Skiving Snackboxes.” Otherwise, Allen suspected there would have been an entire battlefield of ”wounded” Slytherins and Ravenclaws feigning illness.

Allen even saw Professors Flitwick and Snape quietly summon their students after lunch, clearly planning some last-minute coaching.

But it was all pointless. The only effective spell in the maze was Protego.

Allen certainly wasn’t going to remind them that Muggles had something called ”raincoats” that could be useful. Sure, it wouldn’t beat a proper magical defense, but there wasn’t enough time to learn new spells anyway.

And besides, Hufflepuff had already suffered. Allen saw no reason to warn anyone else. Loyalties mattered.

To be honest, when Allen watched the Slytherins and Ravenclaws heading off to class, only one line came to mind:

The wind howls cold at the shore,

The brave set out, and returned no more.

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