Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

Definitely need a chat with the ’rents. Seriously, I think that somehow the shock of realizing what I did when I saw my Status without any Blend in place made me forget that here and now, I have parents who have shown every indication that they love me and will help me out when I need it. Which I will totally do for my own kids, so I’m not even thinking that somehow I warped them into that. Like, okay, maybe I did a bit of a cuckoo thing and slipped into that ’Daughter’ slot via a bit more Divine Woo Trickery than just being a likeable human being, but given that dear old Dad chose me, and is himself a God of Trickery, makes that seem like a normal, acceptable way of joining Loki’s family.

If it matters to you, then It absolutely is, Daughter.

Thanks, Dad. You’re the best.

I know.

Oh, hey, wait, are you visiting for Yule? I...

What is it, Daughter?

I kinda expected you earlier?

That got me a sigh and a chuckle. May we come visit now?

I looked around at the kits, who’d mostly finished up and were just noodling about. ”You three wanna play that last bit for Grampa?” I got nods and cheers, so I sent back Sure.

A moment later he and Sigyn arrived, only to be swamped by my musical kits. After the initial glomping, hugs, and welcoming kisses, they led her off to show her their new instruments while Loki came over and gave me a warm hug.

”Apologies for our late arrival, Daughter, but we’ve been visiting with your siblings. A few days with your brother Jormungandr, just shy of a week with Hel, who let us visit with Fenrir while we were there. We even snuck in to the stables at the Valhal and spent some time with Sleipnir.”

I shrugged to let him know there were no hard feelings. ”How’s he doing?”

”Sleipnir? As well as always. I’m afraid he’s not the brightest of my children. But he appreciates apples, even if they’re stolen, and with Odin not riding out lately his biggest complaint is lack of exercise.”

I’d never really thought about what Sleipnir’s day to day must be like. ”Maybe if we can convince Odin he can join us here at the Homestead. Wait... would he have a problem with the Nightmares?”

Loki, in his Lyman guise like normal, snorted. ”Please. He is a horse, but he is also my son.”

I couldn’t let a setup like that go past. ”So, birth control for the girl Nightmares. Got it.”

That got a full on guffaw from him, and Sigyn snickered in a way that made me think she’d caught that last bit. ”I would say something about not being that bad, but I have spawned with three different partners, so I suppose it’s a fair accusation.”

I gave him another hug. ”Hey, at least I come by it honestly.” He just shook his head and smiled. ”Remind me at some point and I’ll have a chat with Odin, or maybe Thor. I was wondering more about Jormungandr, though.”

Dad nodded, smiling. ”It’s strange. I never got to bond with any of my children with Angrboda before now, yet the one I spent the least time around wound up being the most well adjusted, I think.”

”Really now? Moreso than Hel?”

”Yes, oddly enough. She carries deep bitterness at being forced into her position, then forced to fill that role with none of the support or resources one would normally assume, and finally punished by permanent exile to her realm. Beyond all that, Odin has also blamed her for the loss of his son.”

”Baldur?”

”The very same.”

I shook my head. ”Why do I think there’s something I’m missing there. You were chained up for his death, right?”

”I was.”

”Then how is he blaming Hel?”

Dad sighed and shook his head. ”She has not returned Baldur to Valhalla.”

I blinked once, slowly. ”Can she do that?”

”No, actually, she cannot. Oh, she could release him from her realm, but in his current state he’d probably wind up so dispersed he’d be millennia coming back, if he could do so at all.”

”So why...” I trailed off, then ground my teeth a little. ”Yeah, One-Eye doesn’t want to give up his throne, does he. So long as his heir is in Hel, he’s got an excuse to keep sitting there, no matter what happens.”

Loki tapped the side of his nose. ”But still, after your visit, not to mention the improvements to her realm’s conditions, she’s lightened up considerably. Oh, she still holds all that bitterness, but it’s slowly focusing on those who caused her condition.”

”I oughta tell her about her nephew’s hand.” Loki raised an eyebrow, obviously not realizing what I meant. ”Wait, you mean you never figured out what happened to Tyr?”

”Really?” I nodded, confirming the connection between Tyr and Conrad’s hand. ”Well. Mayhap I will. That ought to cheer her up. Did so for me at any rate.”

We sat there for a bit while the kits played, then it was time for dinner. ’Hamburger steaks’, which wound up being hamburger patties with some buttery gravy. Some chunked onions and peppers cut up in them, with some flash fried veggie sticks on the side. I have got to do something nice for Marie at some point just for that.

Loki and Sigyn wound up being the absolute center of all kid attention when bath time came around. He told them stories of his past, and of his visits to their uncles and aunt. Apparently Jormungandr didn’t eat all those kaiju he swam off with. They’re acting as scale polishers or some shit like that. Not what I expected, but I figure if a big assed snake can learn the value of making friends, maybe I wasn’t completely hopeless.

Then again, it might just be the family tradition of ’Apocalyptic Deity surrounding themselves with other, lesser Deities to amuse them so they don’t end the world’. Which, frankly, is better than ending the world, so I’m not gonna look too close at that.

After bedtime, the ladies took turns diving from the top of the M-Space West Tower, going deep into my Maw. Really deep. Tasty treats lodged so far inside me the sensation leaked out of my tentacle tips. Meanwhile the ones not taking their turn sat in a row holding up little placards with numbers on them. Weird time to realize that I’m innumerate in those dreams. At least I was last night. Not, like, surprising, but still weird.

In the morning, as I woke snuggling Saffron, I asked, ”who today?”

”Why don’t you spend the day with your parents, love?”

”Like, at their place, or...?”

She smiled and shook her head. ”I’m sure they’d love a tour of the Homestead, to play with their grandchildren alongside you, maybe even to meet your newest paramour.”

I snorted. ”She hasn’t been in the Bed but the once, she’s really more a fuck buddy than a paramour.”

Saffron surreptitiously kicked my ankle. ”Don’t let her hear you say that. Even if I don’t think she’ll join us there very often.”

I blinked. ”She didn’t like it?”

That got a laugh which turned into a whole assed guffaw. ”Oh. Oh, no. Rather the opposite. She wound up rather overwhelmed, and needs some time for her libido to recover.”

I thought about that for a minute. ”I guess I could deal with her visiting now and then. Are we inviting the boys over any time soon?”

”We could if you’d like.” I nodded. ”Would you like?”

”Yeah, kinda?”

”Before, after, or during the next time Devorah gets her nerve up?”

That put very bad thoughts in my head, which slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. ”Oh, definitely during. Definitely.”

”Let it be so, then.”

I spent most of the day walking around with Mom and Dad, stopping in and seeing the girls doing their thing, some with their new toys, others just rocking what they’d had already. Midway through sudden melancholy gripped me. I tried to ignore it, but Dad noticed anyway.

”What’s wrong, Daughter?”

I sighed. ”I dunno. Where’s Jormungandr hanging nowadays?”

”Antarctica.”

”Isn’t that a little cold?”

”For a Jotnar?”

”Point.” I sighed. ”Yeah, that’s just me evading, I think.”

”Evading what?”

I turned and smiled at him. ”Talking to you about shit that’s been bothering me. Shit that had me hiding in a hole of my own making for three days, and still hadn’t let go of me.”

So... Along with playing with the kids, we talked. In bits and pieces and fits and starts, I talked about what I’d discovered, because if he couldn’t be trusted with it I was fucked anyhow. I talked about how I worried about Changing my partners, and especially the kind of beyond the pale freaky shit I’d done with Tallulah, with Marie, with Saffron.

Near the end of the day, I asked, ”so. What do ya think?”

He took a deep breath. ”On the one hand, I never thought I’d have to have a talk about kink with my daughter. But that said, has what you’ve done with them brought lasting harm to your partners?”

I thought about it. ”Siobhan’s miserable pretty constantly now.”

He rolled his eyes at me. ”In the first place, that is normal for a small subset of women. In the second, I am correct in saying that your Wife was in fact the one who impregnated her?”

”Yeah, but it was my idea.”

”You forced them to couple?”

I snorted. ”No. I’m kinky, maybe even depraved, but I’m not a rapist by proxy.”

He nodded. ”There you go then. You’re not a murderer by proxy either.”

I blinked. ”Uh... Tallulah’s shattered skull says otherwise.”

”It looked fine to me when you saw her off to work this morning.”

I stood there with my mouth hanging open. ”But...”

”Would you be upset if, at the height of passion, one of your partners bit you so hard they bruised you?”

”Fuck no. That shit’s hot.”

He shook his head. ”So strange that you’re talking with me rather than Sigyn.”

I looked over, chuckled. ”Maze has her in playing chess. Think it’ll do her some good to lose for once.”

”You’d have your daughter lose a contest of wits?”

I shrugged. ”She beats the pants off me all the time. Figure at least Mom is a challenge.”

He chuckled and nodded. ”Well then. What if they broke the skin while doing so.”

”Hoo. That’s some high grade fuel there. Uh... Yeah, I’d have to be really pre, mid, or post word salad to enjoy that, but yeah, knowing they lost their shit so bad they bit me that hard? Still hot.”

He tilted his head down and looked up at me. ”And if your Maenad climaxed so hard she lost control and ripped your jugular open?”

”Gah. Uh. Yeah, talking with you about this is weird. I mean, absolute worst case I wake up a Maenad, more likely Saffron or Siobhan or maybe even Tallulah tags me with some Healing long before I bleed out.”

Dad nodded. ”There you go then. You’ve done nothing, not to Marie on your wedding night, not to Saffron on your birthday, not to Tallulah this past week, which they cannot survive and recover from fully. Your mother and I aren’t afficionados of that type of play, but... Did you all Consent to it?”

I thought about it. I really did. It struck me kinda hard when I finally realized. ”I... I don’t know if I did.”

He nodded, then hummed a bit. ”Your agreement to perform Sparagmos on Marie if Saffron found a way to do so safely could be construed as Consent, as could you asking Tallulah to bribe you, then taking her ’bribe’, but on the other hand I can see where with such extreme play, you might want to be clearer about things than ’could be construed’, no?”

”But... What do I do?”

He thought for a bit. ”Did you enjoy it?”

”What does that have to do with it?”

He rocked his head side to side. ”In the two latter cases, your partners wanted to gift you something they thought you would enjoy. In the former, Marie wanted to share something deeply special to her. If you enjoyed those gifts, that sharing, then the problem is not what was done, but how it was achieved. Which means you ought perhaps speak to them about that?”

I might have grumbled a little. ”They’re just gonna bribe me anyhow.”

He chuckled at that, and given the whole ’First World Problems’ thing, I probably deserved it. ”Yes, but Transactional Consent is still Consent, is it not?”

Yeah, I might have gotten poutier. ”I’m not a whore.”

Then Dad blew my mind when he leaned in so the kits couldn’t hear and said, ”but if Saffron asked you to be one, you would, wouldn’t you?”

”Dad!”

He just chuckled. ”I’ve done shadier things to clear Odin’s debts, Daughter. Should you do them to see your love smile? I would think no less of you.”

Yeah, I got a lot to think about, maybe. But at the end of the day I realized he was absolutely right about Saffron.

Always Saffron.