Legend of Hogwarts (Harry Potter x League of Legends)

What is the most terrifying thing in the world?

Furry, vividly colored poisonous insects?

Snakes that hiss and coil into striking positions?

A person who left behind the most miserable memories in your mind?

Ghosts whose shape, nature, and presence are unknown?

Or maybe it’s that feeling of despair, when you feel trapped, with no way out?

Or perhaps it’s something simpler.

Death?

No one really knows. But the most widely accepted answer is this:

The scariest thing is the unknown.

Alright, let’s switch the tone a little.

Just as the group of young witches and wizards were making faces straight out of a ”Wizarding World’s Guide to Panic,” their dear Professor Sigma revealed why he had such a twisted sense of teaching.

As they stayed up all night trying to convince themselves that Professor Sigma was just a bit mischievous, and that they could survive this year with sheer willpower, Sigma suddenly announced:

Because he had rushed too much in the beginning, and due to a few ”unpleasant” disagreements with other professors over his teaching methods, he’d decided that first years should start off just like everyone else, with a completely safe, danger-free spellcasting class before any practical training.

But the first years weren’t relieved at all. In fact, many began to seriously consider casting an Unforgivable Curse on their professor, a first in Hogwarts history.

Think of it this way: it was like a group of prisoners who had already accepted their fate and were prepared to face the firing squad. Then, just before the trigger was pulled, the executioner pats them on the shoulder and says, ”Oops, sorry mate! The gun jammed. Gimme a few hours to fix it.”

There’s an old wizarding fairy tale from Egypt about a brave potion merchant. After purchasing large quantities of kumquat leaves, hops, barley grass, and... mantis shrimp, he was forced to cross the dangerous Sinking Fish River to avoid a goblin uprising.

Halfway across the river, the boat’s oars snapped while fending off an attacking river demon. Everyone panicked, magic was strictly forbidden on this river, or they’d be cursed forever. But how do you row without oars?

Then, the merchant stood up and boldly declared, ”Don’t panic! I’ve got kum-hops-barley-peels, maybe they can be oars!”

Miraculously, using his bizarre makeshift paddles, they made it across.

Ever since, whenever witches and wizards are in despair, they whisper to themselves: ”I’ve got kum-hops-barley-peels, maybe they can be oars!” And with that encouragement, they find the strength to push on.

So in this moment of hopelessness, the young wizards comforted themselves. ”It’s okay. If I had the courage to face it once, I can face it again!”

Yes! That’s right!

”I’ve got kum-hops-barley-peels, maybe they can be oars!”

••┈┈┈┈┈༓┈┈┈┈┈•••

This turned out to be the most boring Defense Against the Dark Arts class the first-years had ever had. Some of them even started missing the old, chaotic teaching style, though most quickly shook their heads. No way. That kind of suicidal thinking was going too far.

Still, after class, as the students were casually chatting about how mind-numbingly dull it was, someone suddenly said, seemingly from nowhere,

”Hmm? Isn’t it Slytherin’s turn for Defense class this afternoon? I wonder how nervous they are right now!”

Upon hearing this, a young Gryffindor felt as if Merlin himself had just smiled down on him.

Of course! If the class is boring, why not make it fun?

And so, he sought out the notorious twin brothers and Lee Jordan. The twins, already well on their way to becoming leaders among the first-years thanks to their endless creativity, were more than happy to help.

See, causing mischief takes talent, and the twins had clearly invested 20 of their 30 skill points into it. The remaining 10 went into creativity, which, let’s be honest, only fed their pranking abilities further.

Before long, under the twins’ leadership, Gryffindors surrounded the Hufflepuffs, almost scaring them speechless.

At first, the Hufflepuffs thought Gryffindor was declaring a full-on two-front war. But the misunderstanding was quickly cleared up.

And the Hufflepuffs’ response? ”You want to prank Slytherin? Oh, we’re totally on board. But your methods? Way too low-tier. Trying to spook them with ’scary Defense class talk’? Please. That might fool a toddler. You think the older years are gonna fall for that? You’ll just embarrass yourselves, ’Look at those dumb first-years thinking they’re clever!’”

Then came the Hufflepuff counter-plan.

Even the original Gryffindor who started all this, Allan, was stunned by how ruthless it was.

Quiet doesn’t mean harmless. And when they lie, oh boy, they go hard.

Lovid, a book-loving Hufflepuff of mixed Chinese heritage (his only real claim to fame being that he’d never fallen asleep in History of Magic, not that it ever earned anyone points from Professor Binns), shocked everyone with his suggestion.

••┈┈┈┈┈༓┈┈┈┈┈•••

During lunch,

Everyone noticed something odd.

The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables were unusually quiet. Conversation was sparse, the usual raucous noise absent.

Even more strangely, Professor Sigma, the man whose mere presence could silence all of Hogwarts, was nowhere to be seen. Neither were several other professors.

It wasn’t until lunch was nearly over that a small group of students slowly walked in through the main doors, not even half the expected number.

And their appearance stunned every Hogwarts first-year.

Half of them looked like they’d just survived a fire, soot-covered and disheveled. The other half had to be carried in, leaning on their friends for support.

No matter who asked, they all just shook their heads with haunted eyes, silently pleading, ”Please... don’t ask.”

They didn’t even sit down to eat. They just grabbed heaps of food and left.

Just as everyone began to suspect Hogwarts had suffered some unprecedented catastrophe, one trembling Hufflepuff, on the verge of tears, stood before the Slytherin table and said:

”Professor... S-Sigma... said... Defense class... continues... this afternoon...”

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